Is Couples Therapy Effective?

August 16, 2021

Romantic relationships are work, and for them to thrive, a lot of work goes into them. When you have an issue, the best thing would be to get help immediately to avoid any further complications.

Couples therapy can be a good solution for couples seeking to resolve issues in their marriage. In couples therapy, a licensed marriage and family therapist helps individuals in a relationship resolve conflict. A licensed couple’s therapist will allow them to uncover and understand what is happening in their relationship and help them fix it to resolve the issues they have.  

Most therapy sessions that you will attend will involve finding the root cause of the problem. Issues such as addictions, insecurities, jealousy, and other issues can be uncovered in couple’s therapy.

There are differences between couples therapists. How the therapist participates actively in finding a solution for the relationship and not the couples as individuals will determine the success in couples therapy.

However, the effectiveness of participation in a couple’s therapy session is the primary factor. If the married couple is willing to improve on their communication skills and work toward finding solutions, they will save their marriage. However, suppose they are unwilling to share and are focused on looking at who is to blame. In that case, couple’s therapy may not be as effective.

How You Know, You Need Couple’s Therapy

Instead of waiting until you have marital squabbles. It is crucial to notice when you need to attend couples therapy so you can work on finding a solution. Counseling helps couples get back to the happy place that they were once in, in their marriage. So, when is the right time to see a marriage counselor?

You Constantly Argue

When your patterns of interaction are unhealthy, it is a sign that things are not okay. When unhappy couples are arguing, they are trying to prove who is right and who is wrong instead of finding a solution. If the negative interactions go on for a long time, it will have an adverse side effect on their marriage. A couple’s therapist uses their conflict resolution skills to help distressed couples listen and understand one another.

Pretending That Everything Is Okay

If things are not okay and you are pretending that they are, you may want to seek the help of a therapist. You will be able to pretend that everything is fine when it isn’t only for a while before you get finally get tired. You can do it temporarily, but if you are to spend a lifetime with your partner, it isn’t the best solution.

If There Is a Pattern

Reminding your partner to do the little things around the house like taking out the trash or collecting after themselves can be resolved. However, when significant issues that can be life-changing keep reoccurring, it may be time to seek help. Couples’ therapy can help you get to the root cause of a reoccurring issue.

When You are About to Make a Big Decision

You do not always have to go to a therapist when you have a problem. You can go to a therapist because of big life events. Decisions like getting married, having kids, getting engaged, or another significant move can prompt you to visit a couple’s therapist. Couples’ therapy will help you understand whether you are on the same level and whether you are compatible.

Your View on Money is Different

Most couples argue and differ with others about issues concerning money. In couples therapy, you can get to understand one another’s viewpoint on money, and how you can make a compromise about your finances.

If Your Partner Wants to Go for Couples Therapy

You may be going about your life thinking that everything is okay in your relationship. Still, it could only be from your perspective. If your spouse asks you to attend couples therapy, it could be a sign that you are not on the same page with specific issues in your marriage.

You Have a Desire to Maintain a Healthy Relationship

Going to therapy does not necessarily mean that your marriage is at the brink of failure. You may just value your relationship enough to want to keep it healthy.

What You Should Expect In Couples Therapy

Couples walking into couple’s therapy can be hesitant since they are afraid of vulnerability. Individuals may as well feel scared about talking about a relationship discord that they have in front of a stranger. Despite your fears or reservations, if you have decided to go to couples therapy, you may be wondering what to expect. Here are some of the things that you can expect when you attend couples therapy.

What to Expect in the First Session

In the initial counseling sessions, the couple’s therapist will have a list of questions to ask you to understand your situation. They will want to identify the problems that need to be addressed to get a glimpse of why you are a couple’s therapy. When the tough issues have been identified, you will get started on setting future goals for the relationship. 

The first session is meant to help the therapist formulate a plan to help you move forward.

The Next Sessions After That

The sessions that will follow are meant to allow you and your partner to have open dialogues. You will be expressing your feelings about your relationship. You get to talk about the good and bad aspects of the relationship. Doing this will help you identify the significant issues in the relationship. You can then focus on strategies meant for problem-solving.

Your attitude in the sessions should be to understand how things can be fixed and to not seek to assign blame.

Choose a couples therapist based on the approaches and strategies they use to help couples during couple’s therapy. With a bit of research, you will be able to find out this kind of information.  

What Couples Therapy Can Help Solve

There are a variety of issues that couples therapy or marriage counseling can help you to solve. Some of them are:

Irreconcilable Differences

Most problems in a relationship cannot be solved. Understanding the difference between problems that can be solved and those that cannot be solved will help you to reduce disagreements in a marriage.

Differences in Parenting Styles

When you have different ways of parenting, it can cause disagreements. It can lead to one of you making the other one the bad guy in the marriage. Finding out how to blend the different parenting styles or which style to adapt will help reduce disagreements.

Staying Together Because You Have Children

Staying together for the children while your relationship is in jeopardy will lead to you destabilizing your children’s emotional health. they may end up developing a mental health issue. 

No Boundaries

It is not possible to change your spouse. A lack of boundaries can lead to you pushing your partner away or it will end up breaking bonds between partners.

Infidelity and Cheating In a Marriage

After a breach of trust in the marriage, it can be close to impossible to rebuild a relationship. However, it is not impossible if a motivated couple chooses to work together to rebuild their marriage. The partner who has been cheated on works on trusting the cheating partner again, while the cheating partner has to work on reassuring their partner.

Open communication between both parties is needed to resolve their issues and move forward with the marriage.

Unresolved Emotions

When you hide your emotions over something your partner did recently or in the past, you can begin to feel resentful and bitter. Due to unmet emotional needs, you may end up distancing yourself from your partner.

Talking about your emotions while in relationship therapy will reveal some of the deep feelings you had been keeping from your partner. This way, you can concentrate on finding lasting solutions.

What Can Help Make Couple’s Therapy Effective?

For the effectiveness of marriage counseling, you need to be honest with yourself. Determine the part you played that lead to the dispute that you are facing in your marriage.

Determine why you want to attend therapy and whether you are willing to really work on your marriage. Making a conscious decision will help you learn what it is you want to achieve.

Talk to your spouse. Tell them about your willingness to work on the marriage. Express how you feel. Being vulnerable and emotionally intimate could help make the relationship stronger. Allow them to tell you what they think about the situation.

Work together with your spouse to find the best family therapist for you. One of you will end up making the call to the therapist. Even so, you must discuss beforehand and make the decision together. Carry out research, ask questions and establish a method that will help you make a decision.

The success rate for couples counseling is higher only if the couple is positive and both agree on relationship commitment. However, not all couples can resolve their issues despite being in couple’s therapy.

If you are unable to resolve your issues for one reason or the other and are still at a risk for divorce. At Brighter Day℠ Law, our Colorado Springs family law attorneys walk together with families and help them settle down and adjust comfortably after a divorce.